but I can still count them on one hand
Number of times people have mistakenly thought I was pregnant:
1. I was 23, probably 185 pounds. A young teenager at the tutoring center where I worked asked me when I was due. I quickly corrected her and said I wasn’t. She later apologized in a hushed whisper, and I quickly, awkwardly, forgave her.
2. Same year, same weight. I was getting a smoothie from a mall stand. The teenager working there delightedly asked if I was having a boy or a girl. I smiled and said it was a boy. I sat in the parking lot and forced myself to finish my smoothie.
3. About 3 years ago, close to 200 pounds. The jovial cross-walk guard at the intersection, who I passed every day, looked at me and exclaimed, “Oh, I didn’t know you were expecting some joy!” I said, “Oh, no…” He shrugged and said, “Sorry, honey.” I tried my best to avoid conversation with him after that, timing when I reached the crosswalk so I didn’t have to wait there long.
4. Two Saturdays ago, at a friend’s barbecue. 31 years old, 165 pounds. I sat down and a 3-year-old girl said, matter-of-factly, “You have a baby in your belly.” I forced a smile and said, “No, I’m just overweight.” I got no comment from her dad, who was in the room at the time.
Amazing how people from different ages have said it, and I’ve tried different responses, and–wait actually it’s not amazing at all. Every time it still makes me feel awful inside.
I’ve actually never gotten that, probably because I was so overweight it was really obvious I was just plain obese. What worries me a bit is now that I *am* pregnant I’m *still* not getting that, and suspect people are still just seeing the obesity. And in short, screw it.
Also you’re flipping gorgeous (always have been), not to mention intelligent, creative, and generally kickass. Even if crap like this happens, those all remain true.
Screw em. Having just had a baby, I get asked if I am pregnant now because of the post baby fluff. I commented that I was not having a baby, that I just had and the woman had the nerve to tell me that I needed to loose so weight since my husband wouldn’t want a flabby wife hanging around. Another woman said I was never that fit to begin with so I should just get used to comments like that. Moral of the story..people are ass holes and shouldn’t comment. As my male OB said, never ask a woman when she is due even if you are her doctor, because you never know. Keep your head up, you are gorgeous.
I’ve gottten it a few times but the worst was I got asked by a Romany gypsy on the night of my debs (senior prom) “you will have baby?” and patted my belly and smiled at me quite meanly while her bitch friends cackled. I thought I looked fab and was even wearing sucky in underwear. Night ruined. Should’ve punched the bitch.
Even makes me paranoid if I’m offered a seat on the bus. You are gorgeous and people are assholes. I now use the ‘fat rant’ comeback. “Are you pregnant?” “No, but the night is young.” or “nope! Just fat!!!” with a big shit eating grin. Make them uncomfortable which is oddly satisfying. Keep you chin up. You’re beautiful.
We are not suppose to look like 12 year old boys, we are women dammit!
Adding #5 and #6 to the tally; they occurred after posting this. Two women with at least 10 years on me have offered their seats to me on the train, on two separate occasions. Not pregnant, ladies. Just fat.
So we are officially counting on two hands now.